Trust the magic of new beginnings
Everyone has new beginnings, some people have multiple. I’ve just started mine. My sorta new adventure. This all happened because last summer I had A Levels and to put it nicely – they tanked.
I had to leave my school which I’ve been comfortably in for 6 years. I got use to the familiarity of the halls, I got use to the everyday comfort. I got used to, to teachers and the students.
I applied to go to Coleg Y Cymoedd to do English and Health and Social Care…. again. But I also took Film Studies. Now, everyone should know by now that I’m a very anxious person who gets nervous over nothing. I was worrying about ‘Would people like me?’ ‘Will I get lost?’ and everything else that I probably didn’t need to think about.
I caught the wrong time bus, I arrive to my first class soaking wet and late. Great first impression Ter is all I kept telling myself. I sat in the chair closest to me and tried my best to ignore the people sat around me. I did this successfully until I forgot my special login so I had to ask for help (something I don’t like to do) so I got my new login and I was back to being my “inner emo” this was all fine until we had to play a game to get to know each other – a bonding game of sorts. Now pretty sure you’ve all heard of ‘1 lie and 2 truths’
I was placed in a group with 3 other people (2 of which became close friends) and we had to make up likes and tell a truth. This was the time to interact and try to make friends, like I promised my mum. So my lies were;
- I once set a table on fire by accident
- I once got stuck while rock climbing
and my truth wasn’t much better.
- I knocked myself out by falling down the stairs
These were the first words I had ever uttered to these people and clearly two of them liked it…. haha
I then had a 3 hour break – I didn’t know what to do with myself, I didn’t know where to sit. I ended up in the toilets sitting alone for those 3 hours. After they had finally passed, I went to my first ever film studies class and I was pleasantly surprised. But also very terrified of the teacher, she had a wonderful 1950s vibe going on – which I loved. She was and still is very dedicated about film so much to ever have her favorite film quotes tattooed to her. Now that’s commitment! She is also very passionate about her hatred of Nicholas Cage.
“His name just brings me out in hives”
We went round the class and all said our names and our favorite films to introduce ourselves and why? I was mentally prepping myself to say “My name is Terri and my favorite film is Harry Potter” I was so scared to utter that once sentence.
The day was over and I went home after an hour and half long bus ride with extra traffic to add to my mood. It was a Friday so I had to entire weekend to reassure myself that I was fine and I could do this. I can go back to college.
Monday approached and I was back on the bus on my way to college. The day passed by like it was nothing, it still does now 3 months later. Slides away like the rain on the window from the first day.
But more about those friends I made – after all it was a promise to my mum. Polly and Rishain.
I see Polly twice a week and I look forward to having stupid chats about why does she email herself so much? Nobody had the answer 3 months ago, nobody has it now. Polly makes me feel happy, she encourages me to do things with and she has since labelled herself as my life coach. She tells me to do things I’d never do; most of which I can’t mention to you so you can probably guess and picture….
Polly tells me stories about stuff she did years ago and I text her when I’m sad because she cheers me up by being her. She laughs along when I poke fun at her which weirdly comforts me because then I know that we are ACTUAL friends. I love Polly – she’s comforting and safe and I needed that then, I still do and she never fails to provide it. (I have no pictures of this Polly who I claim to love so much, if she reads this. We need some Polly!)
I call her Spice, Escobar, wifey and Erin.
Erin was our first inside joke, she used to sit behind me in film and when she said her name I thought she was “Erin” this was the beginning of our friendship as I turned to her one day and said “Erin? It is Erin, right?” She looked at me stupid and said “NO!” then she laughed in my face and we’ve been attached ever since.
She sits by me in every lesson, texts and calls me everyday. She has labelled herself my wife and forever she will stay that way she tells me. I always turn to her for everything, she became my best friend in such a short amount of time. She told me everything from her mum making gay candles to her strange catholic school and I told her everything else. I told her funny things like me tripping everywhere to serious things like my dad. I felt like I could trust her from the day she laughed in my face about calling her Erin.
I trust and value her as a person then and I still do today. Risha is the person that I text at 1 in the morning about my weird dreams and stupid aspirations like becoming a pirate. She’s the friend who can tell something is wrong from just a text and doesn’t give up until I’m okay. This is something that I’m forever grateful to her for. She hypes me up on Instagram and I do the same for her. Risha is my best friend and forever will be.
Together, the 3 of us are nightmares to say the least. Thank God it’s only 2 a week, otherwise how would Rebecca cope? There’s always laughter and stupid jokes about Jackie Chan socks and words said a bit too loud that makes other people stare and wonder ‘What are they doing?’ But none of us really care.
I always wonder what if I sat somewhere else? I wouldn’t have met these people that I’m forever glad I have. Why didn’t I want to come to college? I’d still be wallowing in own anxiety drowning in the reason why I’m alone. But thanks to these guys, I never feel like that anymore. I haven’t felt alone in 3 whole months! That for me is astonishing!
It’s all thanks to the Jackie Chan loving weirdo and the red headed psycho who could make anyone feel welcome!
Thanks to my new babes! I love you both!
College was my first dreaded experience that I’ve ever probably head and now I couldn’t be more happy that I came. I get to see old friends and make new friends all at once. Sometimes new beginnings aren’t that bad.