Overthinking.

 

Okay, I didn’t know whether or not to post this because

  1. It’s different
  2. People might not understand
  3. I’m literally telling you all my thoughts and feelings

I’m always thinking and I’m always daydreaming or thinking about weird things and I don’t often share these thoughts with people, so I thought that I would type them all down so it still seems like I’m not sharing them with anyone because it’s just me here… alone in my room.

So here we gooo….

As I’m writing this, I’m the youngest I’ll ever be. Even as I look back and publish this, I’m the youngest I’ll ever be. Also how some of the best days of my life can instantly become a memory. Like everything whether good or bad it all just becomes a memory.

I personally find it scary how fast life is passing me by and I’m just completely unaware of it in a way. I turned 17 just 4 months ago but I feel as it has gone by so fast, all of my 17 years on this planet. I was very recently talking to a friend about this like I said I’m 17 years old. In another 17 years, I’ll be 34. 34 YEARS OLD! What am I going to be doing? It just seems so surreal to me that I could live another 17 years and I’m going to be 34. I know it’s just ‘growing up’ but I just find it so amazing. I could be a completely different person, I could not like who I am. What if I could see what I’m going to be. Would I try to alter it? Would I not try?

Also, I try to imagine all the conversations that I’ve been mentioned in and not known about? What is being said? Would I want to know but the fact that I might never know sort of baffles me a little bit because would it make me change?

Staying on the topic of life. What happens after life? Lots of people have different theories but what does actually happen? Does something else happen that nobody knows about or are you just a name that was once on this earth? Is there an actual purpose to all this? It plays with me a lot though how different life could be if you just change ONE thing about yourself. Like for the people who are reading this or are going to read this, what would you be doing if you weren’t reading this? Or how doing one single thing can alter your life drastically it could make it longer or even shorter. Nobody actually knows what could happen tomorrow or even in the further future and it completely baffles me.

I was literally just texting a friend about this (Cath this is you) where I’m on the bus to school or going out and I look at all the houses and I wonder what’s going on in there? The family or friends that live in that building could be celebrating a new life or they could be grieving over a life. They could be celebrating a marriage or nursing a broken heart. It’s so strange to think about what’s going on behind closed doors. I would give anything just to see for one day what does actually go on in there. But I’ll never know.

Right, I’m going to end this here because it gets a bit deeper after this and I think we’ve had enough of my thoughts for today. I hope at least one person can relate because I am quite scared about posting this. If you want me to do another one please comment down below because I think way too much so I’ll have more to give.

Also maybe comment about what you think about? I’d find that so interesting.

Thanks, Terri✨